See and Think Differently
Situational consequences that challenge OUR need for acceptance, self worth and even identity are created when others can’t or don’t see our strengths and talents and arise when our foibles and weaknesses are consistently and critically pointed out. Certainly, when we pursue others that don’t see us, we are caught in the trap of looking for approval tragically.
So, how do we learn to appreciate the differences in viewpoints and stop pursuing validation? First, by letting go of the mindset that everyone does or should think like you! People simply see and think differently! When we move into appreciation of the differences, it opens peaceful possibilities that can strengthen, enhance or even shift a condition, context, event or current viewpoint into a positive frame of reference and bring clarity.
Realizing that family and others that are close to us are referencing their experiences of us from the past is liberating. They are projecting their life experience and relationship with themselves and filtering it through their values and needs.
Secondly, empathy of another’s position is paramount to gain the insight and space necessary to create freedom from what we think someone is or can be doing to us.
Both acceptance and freedom lie in our ability to discern and discriminate, enabling us to create necessary protection and boundaries from others who put their needs ahead of ours or those who meet their needs at the expense of ours in a tragic way. Of course, this strategy is vastly different from emotional distance which has a cost — connection and learning. Again, family and others close to us may be looking for healing from past wounds; and, if we choose not to take advantage of the opportunity, we may rob ourselves and them of a transformational change and potential paradigm shift that would benefit all.
I am Me. In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone chose it — I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself. I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes. Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me. By so doing, I can love me and be friendly with all my parts. I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know — but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and ways to find out more about me. However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me. If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought, and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded. I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me. I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me, and I am Okay.
Authenticity, appreciation, tolerance, compassion, grace and communication – are some of the many and beautiful facets of YOU that need to be encouraged, nurtured and flexed daily!
For me, these qualities provide a graceful framework to embrace the citizens, cultures, religions and traditions of the world including another’s film choice, food choice or fuel efficient/fast car choice which doesn’t mean I don’t have strong opinions, convictions, preferences and desires both for myself, fellow man/woman and the earth.
Only through self example and integrity can one influence (positively) and not impugn, impose on or judge others. And, as we consciously develop skills that contribute to the collaborative and emphatic interest of self and others, our LIGHT will shine more fully.
So, create your compelling vision; maintain the level of connection with others that brings you JOY; develop a life enhancing belief structure that balances openness with protection and embrace an identity that energizes you when you look in the mirror.