Realistic Goal Setting Strategies

Goals vs Expectations

How many times have these and other similar thoughts crossed our minds? Unfortunately, more than we consciously realize.

  • “I am so disappointed in you”
  • “I am really disappointed in your attitude”
  • “I am extremely disappointed in your behavior”

In actuality, disappointment requires adequate planning! Clearly, there is a big difference between Goals and Expectations. A goal is a process that is self initiated and self maintained in order to achieve a desired result. All expectations depend on external actions that we generally don’t have control over and the behavior of others. Expectations are a set up for disappointment and unfulfilled results."Red Bulls Eye"

For example, have you found yourself saying:

  • “I expected you to do this”
  • “I expected to win”
  • “I expected that you would get that for me”

 

Case Study

Susan is overweight. She would like to “lose” some pounds. Currently Susan wears a size 16 and weighs 200 lbs at 5’7”. She would like to be healthy and look good. Susan has tried in the past to lose weight. Affirming, “I want to lose 60 lbs” but has failed in part because nobody wants to lose or to diet. So, in order to successfully achieve a desired result, let’s look at a strategic goal setting process that actually works.

The Process of Realistic Goal Setting

  • Stated Positively
    “I am determined to be healthy. I desire to be a size 10 and a healthy weight.”
  • Beneficial to Well Being
    Yes, it seems so. Size 10 is a good size. Susan did not say a size 1. She did not put an unrealistic and unhealthy weight in her goal plan.
  • Action Plan
    How can Susan accomplish this? There are many ways to develop an action plan. One way is to ask somebody who has done this successfully (modeling). Another way is to research. What does somebody do who is a healthy size 10? Well, you can keep a food diary and eat a certain amount of food: exercise 3 times a week aerobically and lift weights 2 times a week; and, make healthier food choices for a good start.
  • Self Initiated and Maintained
    This is the most important part. Susan has set up her program thus far. She has to start it and maintain it. It is not dependent on somebody locking her in a room and starving her. Susan can enlist some external help. A trainer or training buddy. She can go to Weight Watchers but her plan is dependent on her decision and her showing up!
  • Evidence Procedure
    How do you know you are making progress? This example is easy. Susan notices her clothes getting bigger. She will probably see a weight reduction (although she must be aware that muscle weighs more than fat). She will have to buy smaller sizes. Susan can check in to her goal plan and refine it as she gets closer to her goal and when she reaches size 10 she will have achieved her goal and will be ready to set a new one!

Strategically and successfully understanding the difference between goals and expectation will have the desired ripple effect of producing many positive and far reaching results. Simply, set your goals, stay flexible, be willing to refine them and leave your expectations behind!
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Shelley Martin is a BioSync® Consultant and Companion Animal Practitioner. She is also a Diplomate in Acupuncture and Traditional Chinese Medicine with a Masters Degree in Biology. Shelley is an accomplished chef who has worked in some of NY finest restaurants including Le Cirque as well as acting as personal chef to the rich and famous making classic cuisine healthy; an integral part of Anthony Robbins‘ early team; as well as an expert in the natural foods industry. Shelley also works in the pharmaceutical industry educating doctors and healthcare providers on the benefits of medicinal protocols and adherence for their patients living with HIV.
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